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Ling Valentine thrives online

Its aesthetic can best be described as the late-’90s GeoCities page, designed by a disgraced clown after ingesting a pillowcase full of LSD. The layout is crowded and confusing.

There are multiple fonts in bright colors, some of them flashing. GIFs of cats and dogs scurry across the page. A small video auto-plays, featuring random karaoke performances of Chinese pop songs by a few of Ling’s Cars’ 10 employees.

There’s a video FAQ section, and one of the answers features a flight attendant swigging from a bottle of Jack Daniel’s as she assures you the site is not a scam.

It’s very much not a scam. Designed by Ling’s Cars owner Ling Valentine—obvious for anyone who spends more than a few seconds on the site, as her name and face are posted all over it—it mostly functions as a publicity stunt for her company.

I move over 1,000 new cars annually. I keep my numbers manageable, but significant. Every car ordered is a physical order from a new car dealer and I have £5 million worth of new cars on order at any one time. All that is done on trust, I don’t pay deposits… so I have to keep my business volume sensible. I don’t want to rule the world.Ling Valentine with Vice News


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